FORMAT: BLU-RAY
ORIGINAL REVIEW:
(As posted on August 17th, 2007)
ROBOT MONSTER (1953) **
This so-called “classic” B-Movie has little to recommend besides featuring one of the all-time worst monsters in film history. If watching a man wearing a gorilla suit and a diving helmet on his head for an hour is your idea of a good time, then look no further.
Said Robot Monster comes to Earth with his Calthinator Death Ray and wipes out the entire population except for six survivors. The Monster, named Ro-Man communicates to his superior using a mirror. He also has a Million Bubble Blowing Machine too. He tries to kill the “Hu-Mans”, but gets a thing for the main scientist’s daughter. “Star” George (The Million Eyes of Su-Muru) Nader spends most of the movie in a ripped shirt, so I’m sure the ladies will like it. Even though Ro-Man’s costume is ridiculous, scenes of him strangling innocent children are a bit much. There’s also scenes of stock footage lizards and stop motion dinosaurs too. Of course, in the end it was all a dream!
The incredibly juvenile music is by none other than Oscar winner Elmer Bernstein! This was one of the first 3-D films of the '50s. The Rhino VHS cassette preserves the 3-D effect and comes with glasses, but it’s so poorly done, it’s headache inducing. The only good 3-D effect is the bubbles, so if you only catch the 2-D version, you ain’t missing much.
2024 CRITICAL REAPPRAISAL/3-D REVIEW:
ROBOT MONSTER (1953) ***
The previous review of Robot Monster was for the 3-D version from Rhino on VHS, which featured piss-poor effects. Thank God for this new restoration by the 3-D Archive. It’s truly a thing of beauty. They have painstakingly restored the picture (every dimension of it) and have even included a short, Stardust in Your Eyes, that originally preceded the movie.
Stardust is nothing more than a comedian named Slick Slaven coming out to warm up the audience before the show. He sings a song, does a bunch of celebrity impressions, and… uh… that’s it. There’s not much here to recommend, but I’m glad it’s been included. If only for posterity’s sake.
THE 3-D EFFECTS INCLUDE:
• 3-D Hand
• 3-D Hand
• 3-D tissue
From the very first frame of Robot Monster, you can see the work the 3-D Archive has put into this release as the comic books on the title screen leap out at your eyeballs. I’ve seen this movie dozens of times (mostly on Mystery Science Theater 3000), including a handful of 3-D viewings on VHS, but it’s safe to say this is the definitive presentation. It’s like watching it again for the first time.
I can’t overstate how good this looks. Even the familiar Bronson Canyon locations are a thing of beauty thanks to the rich depth-of-field effects. Of course, “The Automatic Billion Bubble Machine” (as it’s listed in the credits) makes up the lion’s share of the 3-D effects, but even things you never would’ve dreamt were in 3-D (like Ro-Man’s viewscreen) jut out at the audience. While there isn’t much variety in what comes popping out of the screen, there is no shortage of 3D imagery. (See below for a complete list.)
With his gorilla suit and diving helmet, Ro-Man remains one of the most memorably goofy monsters in B-Movie history. He’s never looked better either. Also, since he spends a lot of the film in front of a video screen talking to his superiors on his home planet, I think it’s safe to say Ro-Man invented the Zoom call.
The Elmer Bernstein (yes, Elmer Bernstein) score swings from juvenile nursery rhyme instrumentations to bombastic apocalyptic intonations. Just like the movie itself, it’s all out of whack. However, since the whole thing is revealed to be a (Spoiler) dream of a little boy, it makes sense that it doesn’t… uh… make sense.
Sure, Robot Monster is still no masterpiece, but thanks to the work of the 3-D Archive, there’s honestly no reason to watch it in 2D ever again.
THE 3-D EFFECTS INCLUDE:
• 3-D Comic Books
• 3-D Titles
• 3-D Bubbles
• 3-D Bubbles
• 3-D Viewscreen
• 3-D Wand
• 3-D Ro-Man Hand
• 3-D Antenna
• 3-D Bubbles
• 3-D View Screen
• 3-D Ro-Man Hand
• 3-D Viewscreen
• 3-D Wand
• 3-D Antenna
• 3-D Bubbles
• 3-D Viewscreen
• 3-D Ro-Man Hand
• 3-D Bubbles
• 3-D Viewscreen
• 3-D Intermission
• 3-D Bubbles
• 3-D Viewscreen
• 3-D Antenna
• 3-D Bubbles
• 3-D Ro-Man
• 3-D Viewscreen
• 3-D Wand
• 3-D Bubbles
• 3-D Viewscreen
• 3-D Wand
• 3-D Antenna
• 3-D Bubbles
• 3-D Viewscreen
• 3-D Antenna
• 3-D Bubbles
• 3-D Ro-Man Hand
• 3-D Electricity
• 3-D Ro-Man Hand
• 3-D Electricity
• 3-D Repeating Ro-Man
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