FORMAT: DVD
They Live’s George “Buck” Flower stars as the host of a news program doing a show about vampires living in Los Angeles. During the broadcast, we see “actual footage” of vampires (actually vampire themed stag loops). The program is also interrupted several times by commercials that pop up every now and then.
There’s a lot of different ways to do a vampire themed porno movie. This wouldn’t have been my preferred method. The news segments are thin at best and the commercials feel more like padding than anything else. While Suckula doesn’t exactly suck-ula, it’s not very good-ula either.
The big problem of course is that all the comedy shit simply isn’t funny. The commercial parodies run on way too long and even worse, don’t even contain actual jokes. It’s all set-up and no follow through. The other hang-up is that it isn’t very sexy either. I mean It’s hard to get worked up when a vampire is mugging like Rodney Dangerfield while getting head. Then again, If you ever wanted to see a guy eating a girl out while wearing cheap plastic vampire fangs, well here it is. (For the sake of variety, a vampire woman appears and seduces a man in the final fuck scene.)
It’s not all bad though. The music is surprisingly good. In fact, one scene is set to Paul Simon’s “Love Me Like a Rock” which plays on a loop. I wonder if the filmmakers actually licensed the tune or if the actresses in the movie rubbed peters to pay Paul.
And while his shtick doesn’t exactly translate into laughs, it’s always fun seeing Flower (who also appears in drag in a couple of scenes) mugging for the camera. Too bad he was given such (pardon the pun) limp material to work with. Overall, Suckula just lacks bite.
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