FORMAT: DVD
A young girl is taken into a cult where she witnesses “The Rites of Uranus”. (That’s just a fancy way of saying they stick a little candle up some girl’s ass before they bang her.) Then two heavily oiled-up cultists get it on atop a velvet altar. Eventually, the cult member initiates their new pledge into the group. Trouble brews when the new gal accidentally kills the high priest while doing the deed. (She suffocates him while giving him a mustache ride.)
This movie contains a lot of things you would not expect to see from a movie called The Rites of Uranus. For one, the sets are pretty good as it actually looks like a creepy cult headquarters and not just a bedroom with some black light curtains. Also, there’s a lot of atmosphere as the lighting is very moody and a fog machine sometimes swirls smoke around the proceedings. The biggest surprise is the camerawork. Often in these kinds of things, the camera is static and rarely picks up the best coverage of the performers. Here, the camera swoops and circles the actors while they are performing, and the effect is quite cinematic.
As a bonus, the movie also delivers on everything you would expect to see from a movie called The Rites of Uranus. Namely, lots of butt stuff. So, if that’s your sort of thing, then you should definitely enjoy this one. In addition to candles, fingers, and dicks probe “the dark passage” of Uranus throughout the film. In one wild scene, a cult member shoves “The Sword of Uranus” (a dildo with a hilt) up a guy’s ass! Your mileage may vary, but I'd rethink my membership after they tried something like that on me.
There’s also some great dialogue along the way too. Most of it naturally revolves around Uranus puns. However, I think my favorite line might’ve been: “I’m locked up like an unevolved mammal!”
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