Shit like this is why I love having a Roku player. You can stumble upon a bunch of ‘80s weirdness at any given moment. And let me tell you, Rumblerama: Hot Babes Wrestling is some prime ‘80s goodness.
It’s less than an hour long and broken up into three segments: Oil wrestling, foxy boxing, and mud wrestling. In other words, there’s a little something for everyone.
First up is oil wrestling. The combatants come out dressed in various themed outfits and perform a striptease down to their bikinis before locking horns in the ring. The first match has “Hell’s Little Angel” (a biker babe) going against “Dolly Roger” (a gal dressed up like a pirate). The action is fast and furious. Even though the ladies are all oiled up, they are still able to grab hold of one another and do some impressive body slams and flips within the confines of the small ring.
Next up is “Pinky the Panther” (dressed in a pink dress) vs. a stunning blonde named “Shady Sadie” (dressed in lingerie). This match is just incredible. We have multiple wardrobe malfunctions, chokeholds, biting, and action in and out of the ring. If you ever wanted proof that there is a God and he’s a man, then look no further than this match.
We then move onto foxy boxing. Sugar Ray Renee (who was also featured in Foxy Food Fight) puts up her dukes against Cactus Kelly (a gal dressed like a cowgirl). The ladies wear headgear and oversized boxing gloves, but that doesn’t mean the action isn’t fierce.
Next, we have the number one ranked contender “The Valley Girl” (dressed as… uh… a valley girl) vs. the champ “The Little Old Lady” (you can probably guess her schtick). For a title match, there aren’t a lot of sparks. However, the action picks up considerably in the third round.
The third fight features “Princess Spread Eagle” (a blonde wearing a Native American headdress) going up against “Sweet Virginia” (a gal with a southern belle gimmick). Pandemonium reigns in this one. The gals lose their headgear, gloves, and tops in short order. The referee loses control of the match too. In a word, “Cinema”.
We finish things up with mud wrestling. “Dreamy Jeannie” (dressed up like Barbara Eden in I Dream of Jeannie) locks horns with “Cona the Barbarian”. Cona completely manhandles poor Jeannie until she pulls another gal from the crowd into the mud pit.
Boom Boom Barbie (a blonde in a cheerleader outfit who says “Gimme a T! Gimme an A!” before she strips down to her bikini) grapples with “The Head Nurse” (dressed as you would expect and/or hope) in the next match. The action is solid in this one. In fact, the ladies wind up covered in so much mud that they have to be watered down at the end of the fight to tell who is who.
Cleopatra (who is dressed as the Queen of the Nile and has an enormous set of pyramids) goes toe to (camel) toe against “Blushing Bride” in the “Battle of the Bosoms”. Basically, they just shake their tits while “Dueling Banjos” plays. I don’t know who invented this gimmick, but I’d like to shake their hand. This quickly devolves into an absolute slobberknocker of a mud wrestling match, which is to say, it’s amazing.
Things end with two guys from the audience being chosen to compete in a Royal Rumble mud match with the ladies. Lucky bastards. I miss the ‘80s.
AKA: Battling Beauties.
No comments:
Post a Comment