Wednesday, December 11, 2024

LET’S GET PHYSICAL: SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE (1970) ** ½

FORMAT:  DVD

A horny dude can’t wait to marry his girlfriend, if only so he doesn’t have to worry about her mother barging in on them while they’re doing the deed.  On his wedding day, his car breaks down on the way to the chapel and a woman offers to help him out.  As it turns out, she winds up being more interested in balling.  Next, a guy offers to buy our hero’s car but learns his wife spent all his cash (after they fuck, of course).  She then seduces the groom to be.  Eventually, our hapless hero finds love with his girlfriend’s sexy sister. 

The sex scenes run the gamut from OK to better than average.  What they lack in steaminess, they make up for with frequency (even if very few of them contain money shots).  The scenes include fucking on a (very small) kitchen table, in a meadow, a girl with a guy who has trouble getting hard, and a redneck with his gal in the back of a pick-up truck. 

This movie exists in a world where easy women do their grocery shopping in their bra and panties.  I don’t know about you, but that’s the kind of world I’d like to live in.  I’ve heard some of the music in old Spook Show ads, which is to say it sounds really out of place during BJ scenes.  That’s not exactly a criticism.  It’s more of an observation than anything. 

Sex Before Marriage has a simple premise that is adequately performed and executed.  It won’t win any awards for eroticism, but it has its moments to be sure.  It also has just enough odd touches to make it somewhat memorable or at least enough to differentiate it from many of its forgettable contemporaries.  With something like this, that’s about all you can really ask for. 

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