LET’S GET PHYSICAL: BUXOM BEAUTEASE (1956) ***

FORMAT:  BLU-RAY

Buxom Beautease was directed by Teaserama’s Irving Klaw and stars some of the biggest names in Burlesque such as Blaze Starr, Tempest Storm, and Lili St. Cyr.  Teaserama may be better known (mostly because Bettie Page is in it), but I liked this one just as much, if not more. 

First, a couple of comedians come out and do a series of lame gags.  Then, Blaze Starr takes centerstage on a set made up to look like a bedroom.  She does a slinky little striptease out of a cocktail dress before straddling a chez lounge and suggestively writhing around on it.  She gets so hot that steam erupts from the lounger!  In a word: Cinema. 

Next, Barbara Pauline enters a living room set (butt first) for a nice little number.  Then, the comedians come back for a dentist sketch followed by a terrific striptease by the sultry Dorian Dennis.  Eve Adams does a fun little number where she constantly has to adjust her top to avoid nip slips.  Then comes Patti Paget who performs a fun fan dance.  She’s followed by footage of a stripper named Evonne that was clearly taken from another source as the cinematography doesn’t match at all.  A cute Marilyn lookalike named Rita Grable performs a classy number afterwards. 

Starr encores with another striptease while wearing a wild looking headdress (which is the first thing that gets taken off).  Trudy Wayne is next and like Evonne’s segment, it looks like it came out of a nudie loop.  (Not a criticism, just an observation.)  Then, Dennis returns with a striptease out of a sexy evening gown.  Afterwards, the comedians come out and perform a funny math segment. 

Things switch over to color for the final segments.  Lili St. Cyr performs an Arabian Nights themed striptease.  Next, a comedian comes out and does a bit about racehorses (this looks like it might’ve been an outtake from Varietease).   Finally, Tempest Storm finishes things off with a classy little number. 

Klaw reused the same score from Teaserama, but you won’t mind.  Unlike that film, it’s mostly in black and white.  However, the cinematography is excellent.  It’s also missing the idiosyncratic presence of Bettie Page, which takes it down a notch.  (Grable takes up the mantle of title card girl in her absence.)  That said, Starr’s performances are mesmerizing, Dennis is enchanting, and heck even the comedians are pretty funny.  All in all, it’s one of the best Burlesque movies ever made. 

LET’S GET PHYSICAL: TEASERAMA (1955) ***

FORMAT:  BLU-RAY (REWATCH)

ORIGINAL REVIEW:

(As posted on July 17th, 2007)

Teaserama is better than producer Irving Klaw's previous Varietease because it features more Bettie Page. Tempest Storm is the star of this filmed Burlesque show, but Page steals the movie. Both Page and Storm do two dance numbers apiece. Like in Varietease, Bettie dances in the first segment, but she also appears in between acts to hold title cards up for the other dancers. In the movie's sexiest scene, she dresses up in a sexy maid outfit and helps Storm get ready for the show by dressing her and combing her hair. The color photography is once again excellent. There's no nudity, but at least the dancers show off more than they did in Varietease. Also starring female impersonator Vickie Lynn (also in Varietease with Page) and comedians Dave Starr and Joe E. Ross (from Car 54 Where Are You?) and some footage from Varietease is re-used.

LET’S GET PHYSICAL: THE HARRYHAUSEN CHRONICLES (1998) *** ½

FORMAT:  DVD

This hour-long television special narrated by Leonard Nimoy tells us of the life and artistic creations of one of the most renowned special effects men of all time, Ray Harryhausen.  When Ray sees King Kong as a teen, he makes it his life’s mission to become a stop-motion special effects artist.  After serving in WWII, he comes home and begins work on a series of children’s shorts.  Eventually, he gets the call of a lifetime to work under his idol, Willis O’Brien on Mighty Joe Young.  From there, he goes on to create memorable creatures for The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms, It Came from Beneath the Sea, Earth vs. the Flying Saucers, 20 Million Miles to Earth, The Seventh Voyage of Sinbad, The 3 Worlds of Gulliver, Mysterious island, and many more. 

Written and directed by Time magazine film critic Richard Schickel, The Harryhausen Chronicles offers a treasure trove of material for fans of the legendary effects man.  The coolest parts are of Harryhausen in his studio presiding over and manipulating some of his most famous creations for the camera.  There’s a lot of great clips from the films too.  From the Ymir in 20 Million Miles to Earth to the Cyclops in The Seventh Voyage of Sinbad to the skeleton army of Jason and the Argonauts to the Medusa in Clash of the Titans, they’re all here.  Not only that. but we also get to see his early stop-motion attempts as a young man and test footage from projects that never got off the ground for one reason or another. 

Harryhausen is gracious and warm in the interview segments and offers plenty of behind-the-scenes info on his films.  We also hear from his pal Ray Bradbury (who also wrote Beast) and Harryhausen’s business partner Charles H. Schneer who produced many of his movies.  Fans like Dennis Muren, Henry Selick, and George Lucas are on hand as well as they gush about their love of his work and how it shaped them.  It’s also cool seeing Bradbury handing Harryhausen his honorary Oscar and hearing the ceremony’s host, Tom Hanks talking about his love for Jason and the Argonauts. 

In short, anyone who’s ever been fascinated by the awe-inspired work of Ray Harryhausen owes it to themselves to check this documentary out. 

YACHT ROCK: A DOCKUMENTARY (2024) ***

Yacht Rock is one of those love-it-or-hate-it genres.  There are so many songs that fall under the banner that are excruciating to listen to for me.  However, when you do hear that handful of bangers from the genre, you just have no choice but to sing along.  This documentary (or “dockumentary”, if you will) is a fun look at the Yacht Rock phenomenon.  It keeps things light (although it refuses to put its tongue firmly in cheek) while simultaneously giving all the artists involved their due (even if critics and music snobs refuse to). 

The filmmakers talk to all the giants of the genre.  We get interviews with Michael McDonald, Christopher Cross, Kenny Loggins, the members of Toto, and more.  What we learn is that the genre more or less sprung out organically as many artists knew one another and played either as session musicians or guests on each other’s albums.  (Most of the artists just saw themselves as a new generation of session musicians a la The Wrecking Crew.)  This sort of crosspollination is the reason why so many of the songs sounded so similar and gave the genre its distinct sound. 

The film charts the beginning of the Yacht Rock movement with McDonald joining The Doobie Brothers.  His addition to the line-up caused sort of a changing of the guard as the band transitioned from hippie rock to more of a jazzy lite rock sound.   Other highlights are McDonald’s duet with Loggins, Steely Dan’s Aja album, and Cross’s smash debut.  While the music dominates airwaves and wins countless awards, the death knell sounds with the advent of MTV.  Fortunately, gangster rappers come to the genre’s rescue when they sample some of the best bits for their songs.  (Most notably, McDonald’s “I Keep Forgetting” for Warren G.’s “Regulate”.)  In doing so, it gives the genre a second life.  Later, a web series coins the “Yacht Rock” term, and that, coupled with music lovers’ nostalgia, creates a monster.

It’s funny seeing who does and doesn’t embrace the title of “Yacht Rock”.  (Steely Dan’s Donald Fagen’s refusal to be interviewed provides the film with its biggest laugh.)  The interviews are mostly entertaining and some of their anecdotes are amusing.  Overall, like the songs from the genre itself, Yacht Rock:  A Dockumentary is fun and breezy and a tad forgettable. 

MITCH APPEARS ON THE DTVC PODCAST!

Mitch once again was a guest on the DTVC Podcast with host, Matt Poirer.  On this episode they discussed the Christmas horror classic, Silent Night, Deadly Night (and of course, Mitch made room to talk about his favorite Christmas horror flick, ELVES!).  Give it a listen here: DTVC Podcast 188, "Silent Night, Deadly Night" by DTVC Podcast

LET’S GET PHYSICAL: MERMAIDS OF SAND, SEA, AND SURF (1994) ** ½

FORMAT:  DVD

Mermaid Movies were a low budget version of Playboy Video Centerfolds.  They featured sexy topless women posing in picturesque exotic locales and… well… that’s about it.  They might not have had the same kind of money Hugh Hefner and his team were working with, but they had enough of it to convince the models to take their tops off, and at the end of the day, that’s all that really matters now, doesn’t it?

The first segment is called “Spanish Maiden” (***) and it features Belinda, a buxom brunette beauty posing topless on and around a beachfront pier.  This sequence is solid for the most part.  It’s just the heavily purple-tinted portion detracts from the scenery.  And by “scenery”, I mean the “topless Spanish maiden”. 

In “Enchantress” (** ½), a blonde named Lisa takes it all off and writhes around inside a small tropical treehouse.  This would’ve been just dandy had it not been for the annoying narrator performing some sort of half-assed nursery rhyme over the action. 

Next is “Artistic Charm” (** ½).  Ingrid, another sexy brunette, shows off on the pier before lounging topless in a hammock.  This too suffers from pointless nursery rhyme shit, but thankfully the narrator limits his lyrics to only a few verses. 

“Sensuous Castaways” (***) follows.  Lisa and her friend Kelley hang out on top of old boat wrecks on a desert island.  This scene is nice because it has two gals to look at, both of whom look great against the boat backdrops.  The fact that Lisa is the one doing the nursery rhyme narration helps too. 

Kelley is the star of the next sequence appropriately titled “Kelley” (** ½) where she does a tasteful series of poses on the beach.  “Lori” (** ½) follows her, posing topless on a small wooden bridge, in a little creek, and along the shoreline. 

“Tropical Heat Wave” (** ½) features two models writhing around in the sand and surf before cooling off in a pool.  This one has too much cutting back and forth to be effective, but at least the narration is decent this time.  “No men allowed! This is a woman’s world!”

The final segment is “Surf’s Up” (** ½) where models pose (where else?) on the beach.  This feels like outtakes from another Mermaids videos, but it’s hard to tell.  The models look hot, which is all that really matters. 

This isn’t too bad overall.  The biggest problem is the unnecessary narrator who talks over the scenes of the models posing.  Even worse is when he shills for other Mermaid releases in between the nude scenes.  His nursery rhyme shtick is grating too.  That’s probably the only real drawback though.  So, if you decide to watch this on mute and supply your own soundtrack, add a Half-Star to the rating. 

LET’S GET PHYSICAL: CHEEZY ADVENTURE TRAILERS (2007) **

FORMAT:  DVD

Everywhere you look, from the DVD case to the Amazon listing to the DVD menu calls this “Cheezy Action Trailers”, but the actual onscreen title is Cheezy Adventure Trailers.  I have to say, that title makes a lot more sense once you see what movies are actually featured.  When I think of “action”, I think of Enter the Dragon, Die Hard, and Lethal Weapon.  Shit like that.  Cheezy Action… excuse me… Adventure Trailers contains previews for films such as Mogambo, King Solomon’s Mines, and Hatari!  These kinds of flicks would most undoubtedly fall under the heading of “adventure” and not necessarily be regarded as “action”. 

Why the switcheroo with the title?  Who knows.  This is Cheezy Flicks we’re talking about here.  This is the same company that puts out trailer compilations that feature the same trailers within the same collection.  And in true Cheezy fashion, many of the trailers are in rough shape.  The majority of the trailers are faded and worn, and the prints for Morgan the Pirate, Sandakan the Great, and Jungle Gold are extremely jumpy. 

There are some fun bits to be sure.  The Journey to the Lost City trailer features a gold statue with humongous boobs.  There’s a couple of trailers with an exploitation edge like Naked Africa, Man from Deep River, and Nature Girl and the Slaver, but not too many.  Trailers like these make it worth sitting through, but unless you’re a die-hard trailer compilation connoisseur like me, this one will be easy to skip over. 

I can say it delivers on the Cheezy Adventure Trailers.  I can’t fault it for that.  If you like jungle pictures and Tarzan movies, this will fit the bill.  (“Jungle Movie Trailers” would’ve been an even better title now that I think of it.)  However, if you go into this expecting some Cheezy action trailers, you are bound to be disappointed.  Luckily, it’s less than an hour long, so it all goes down pretty smooth, all things considered.  Just know what you’re getting yourself into beforehand and be wary of the bait and switch title, and you should be okay. 

The full trailer list includes:  Morgan the Pirate, Journey to the Lost City, Sandakan the Great, Sword of Sherwood Forest, Safari Drums, Jungle Flight, Hell on Devil’s Island, Mogambo, Tropic Zone, King Solomon’s Mines, Tarzan’s Fight for Life, Jungle Heat, Jungle Gold, Naked Africa, Man from Deep River, She Gods of Shark Reef, Tarzan and the Great River, Tarzan’s Greatest Adventure, Virgin Sacrifice, Watusi, Walk into Hell, Nature Girl and the Slaver, Manhunt in the African Jungles, Jungle Attack, Perils of Nyoka, Hatari!, Two Sane Nuts, Tarzan Goes to India, Zulu, and The Brigand of Kandahar. 

AKA: Cheezy Action.  AKA:  Cheezy Action Trailers.