Wednesday, December 4, 2024

LET’S GET PHYSICAL: SORORITY GIRL MURDERER! (2012) ***

FORMAT:  BLU-RAY

Seventeen years ago, three sorority sisters murdered a creepy neighbor after a prank went horribly wrong.  Now, a masked killer is on the loose killing the girls who got away Scot free. 

The first twenty minutes or so is a condensed version of Sorority Slaughter.  This isn’t a bad thing since Sorority Slaughter was plagued with too much padding to begin with.  It actually plays a lot better if I’m being completely honest.  Plus, the recycled footage hits all the highlights (like Tina Krause showering, Tina Krause having sex, and the iconic car wash/water fight sequence), so it’s hard to complain.  Also, this version runs a brisk fifty-four minutes, a good thirty-three minutes shorter than the original, which is appreciated. 

Sorority Girl Murderer! is kind of weird though.  That’s mostly because it’s a sequel to the first half of Sorority Slaughter.  It totally forgets that the creepy neighbor survived and exacted revenge on the girls by ripping their guts out.  (It also ignores Sorority Slaughter 2 completely.)  That film played like a shot on video version of Blood Feast.  This is more like a chloroform and bondage shot-on-video remake of I Know What You Did Last Summer.  So, you know, it’s a typical W.A.V.E. movie. 

The newly shot scenes feature a few new actresses, some of whom stare directly at the camera.  Since nearly all of them get naked for bondage scenes, I say it kind of added to the experience.  It’s also fun seeing the original W.A.V.E. starlets reprising their roles seventeen years later.  In that respect, it’s almost like a shot-on-video bondage version of Boyhood. 

As great as much of the film is, nothing can prepare you for the CGI sandworm attack.  I know that’s a big spoiler as this is probably the last movie you would expect to see a CGI sandworm attack.  Even though you now know about it, it’s still safe to say, nothing can prepare you for it.  It's certainly more fun than anything found in those new Dune movies.  Denis Villeneuve, eat your heart out. 

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